You can help young people develop life
skills and social competencies.
Sometimes, all of life seems to depend on getting along well with
others and navigating through new situations. In the classroom, the
boardroom, and the living room, in the coffee shop, on the subway,
and on the sidewalk, people of all ages need to know how to interact
effectively with others, how to make difficult decisions, and how to
cope with new situations.
In the developmental assets framework, the assets that help a young
person achieve those goals include:
• Learning about one’s own heritage, culture, and uniqueness and
those of others, to further self-understanding and mutual
understanding;
• Knowing how to be a good friend to members of your family, fellow
students, coworkers, neighbors, and other people in your life; and
• Recognizing potentially dangerous situations, planning ahead to
avoid problems and being willing and able to work through conflicts
with others non-violently.
But none of the social competencies simply “come naturally” to most
young people (or to most adults, either). Tolerance, negotiation nd
compromise, sensitivity to others’ feelings and needs, and
appreciation of one’s own and others’ cultures need to be taught and
modeled.
Here are some tips on how to “teach your children well”:
• Remember that different folks need different strokes. Young people
develop social skills gradually over the course of childhood and
adolescence, and in different ways at different times. For example,
young children need supervised group playtime in small but regular
doses. For young adolescents, project-oriented group activities with
their peers are vital opportunities for constructive social
learning.
• Think about what’s new. It’s easy for adults to forget how
confusing it was when they were teenagers to face many new
situations, including first dates, the first chance to drive alone,
and the first party where others are drinking alcohol. We can help
young people avoid making impulsive decisions in such situations by
teaching them a process for making rational decisions, talking with
them about possible scenarios, pointing out potential actions and
consequences, and role-playing relevant conversations.
• Give boys an extra helping hand. The data from Sear Institute’s
survey of nearly 200,000 young people show that for each asset in
this category, girls report experiencing the asset more than boys
do. It may take special, focused efforts to help boys’ experiences
of these assets increase.
